This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
