I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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