Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize