So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
