dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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