Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
