Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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