I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I smell like Dick and happiness
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
