We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
