Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it because I queefed?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
