He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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