dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Randomize
