The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
