every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just invented taco cereal.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
