But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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