I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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