it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize