Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
