this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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