We named our party play list daddy issues
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize