you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
