so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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