I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
sex in a hospital.. check
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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