Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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