Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
