I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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