Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
