it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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