It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
