Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
youre lurking in front of me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
kristin has been a bad kristin
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
