he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
