You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you didnt know i had herpes?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
