So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
