you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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