the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
