just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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