you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
