he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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