Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
