Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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