I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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