Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Bring me that man meat
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
