My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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