Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
