Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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