I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
