I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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