think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
