My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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