Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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