Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize