respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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