The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
