So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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